On July 30th, the New York Times published a piece about college orientations for parents called
Parents’ Rights (and Wrongs)

Parents walk a delicate line when their children fly away to college. No one wants to be known as a helicoptering parent, a mother or father who hovers and swoops in at the first sign of trouble. Most parents know they should cut the electronic umbilical cord (the cellphone). Yet what concerned mother can resist arguing with a professor over an unfair grade or trying to resolve a squabble among roommates?

Colleges fear that parental interference prevents students from developing into independent and resilient adults. So they hold special orientation sessions to help parents understand what role they should play in their child’s next four years. This summer, for example, the University of Vermont is offering two days of information sessions, including “Parenting From a Distance,” a pilot program that will walk them through the stages of separation anxiety and offer guidance on the transition. Then again, the university has had to hire returning students as “bouncers” to keep parents from butting in on orientation events — like course registration — meant solely for incoming students.

As an up-and-coming freshman at Northeastern University , my dad actually attended Ms. Turner’s speech about independence in college, and subsequently agreed with most of it. As far as my own independence goes, the discussion with my parents got started during the age-old teen argument about curfews during high school. I essentially said that once I am in college I will have no one to answer to but myself.

Since then I have had a few discussions with my parents. My mom and dad have the same general ideas; however, some of their more ardent worries are mutually exclusive. My mom is most concerned about me being able to take care of myself. She has never been away from her son for more than a few days, so it will be tough seeing me move 3000 miles away. My dad’s worries come more on the academic side of things. He is at least somewhat guilty of over involvement in my academics during high school.

We have taken steps to address my mom’s worries first. We decided to set a calling period a couple times a week in which I will call and check in at home. There will be no limit on emails or text messages. We are fortunate enough to have resources that will allow my parents to come visit if need be. If I ever have a serious personal problem I am having trouble coping with and phone time isn’t enough, they would have no problem coming to see me. We also have generous friends and family in the area who have volunteered their support.

As far as academics go, my dad has expressed that he does wants me to be wholly accountable for my grades, if I have problems, he expects me to do anything I can to seek help from friends or staff in college. If further problems occur, he has threatened some sort of financial punishment. If things are still not fixed, then he may need to get personally involved.

Overall, I think my parents and I have done a good job preparing for the newfound independence I will enjoy in college. I can’t know for sure until I have been there, but I think our open-mindedness has helped a lot. We aren’t too worried and just want to find solutions to potential problems before they start. When it comes down to it, the only thing I am really dreading is doing my own laundry.