Leave My Caffeine Addiction Alone, Scientists
Everyone needs to back the hell off of policing my caffeine consumption. One hundred years ago this month, the Coca-Cola company was in court fighting a lawsuit brought against them by chemist Harvey Washington Wiley: He felt the company had “adulterated” their wonder beverage with high doses of the chemical we know and love as caffeine. A bottle of Coke in 1911 had as much caffeine as a can of Red Bull does in 2011. I fail to see the problem with that. Eighty milligrams per bottle/can is still less caffeine than one cup of coffee.
Caffeine may not be considered as beneficial as scarfing down 5 pounds of organic kale, but it’s not the worst chemical we humans suck up. I feel particularly justified in my caffeine use/addiction as I don’t drink alcohol or smoke or have any recreational chemical habits of any kind. If I didn’t need caffeine, what else would I have to lose when the apocalypse comes? How would college students get through four years or more of lecture halls, paper writing, and all-nighters? And who in their right mind would pass up something that can give you a day like this?:
On Feb. 25 [1911], an abstainer was dosed with four grains of caffeine (260 milligrams, the approximate equivalent of a 12-ounce cup of Starbucks coffee): “Gradual rise of spirits till 4:00. Then a period of exuberance, of good feeling. Fanciful ideas rampant.”
The scientists are still cranky, and feel the need to do lots of research regarding the detrimental effects of caffeine on sleep, blood pressure, etc. so as to get some regulation going on the caffeinated beverages of 2011. They must be working some long, hard research hours in the lab. One wonders which chemical fuels their intense lab time…Nutritious kale smoothies? Stimulating, I’m sure.
Further Reading:
Caffeine Content in Coffee, Tea, Medications, Etc.
Is Caffeine Dehydrating? [No]
Caffeine: How Much is Too Much? [Way beyond average consumption]
A Century Later, Jury’s Still Out on Caffeine Limits
Caffeine and Blood Pressure [Not so bad]
Posted by Alexa Harrington
