Regardless of who you are or what life situation you find yourself in the midst of, there are bound to be some misery-infested moments. School, work, and just plain day-to-day life have wretched bits that bring on the urge to shake your fist at the sky and demand some answers.

If every day, all day is like that for you, then I would suggest some changes. But if the unpleasant moments are just threads running through a solid, generally happy and contented life, you’ll be fine and can take the advice of Sergeant Felipe Perez (Williams College ’99) to “Embrace the Suck.” You can read his post on his blog, The Accidental Soldier, at his Alma Mater’s blog, EphBlog, or below.

Army port-a-potties the world over (I can speak to the US, Germany, Kuwait, Qatar, and Iraq, at least) are full of some of the crudest, funniest, and wisest graffiti ever. My personal favorite, scrawled or scratched into at least one potty in ever place I’ve ever been, is “Embrace the Suck.”

“Army Strong,” “Army of One,” “Be All You Can Be” aside, “Embrace the Suck” is the real Army motto. The wisdom is simple and powerful. War sucks. Soldiering sucks. The Army sucks. Deal with it. Get over it. Accept it. Embrace it.

I think I’m close.

Just came back from 5 days in the woods. Slept in the dirt. Got rained on. Tore my hands up taking machine guns apart in the dark. Got real stinky. In short, it sucked.

But on day three or four (we lose track), we had hot chow trucked out to the woods. It had stopped raining. The sun was setting behind the North Carolina woods, through a break in the rainclouds. The truck was blaring 80’s R&B as they pulled up, and we convinced them to open the doors and turn it up. Before long, plate full of lukewarm spaghetti in hand, funky buddies at my side, and bad music in background, I was as happy as can be. It wasn’t long before our pint-sized First Sergeant started screaming about something or other, but it was wonderful while it lasted.

Better yet, last night, our field days over, we rolled back into the FOB. I’ve never been happier to see broken showers, a crowded tent, and a dining hall full of bland food. I’m learning to embrace the suck.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

image: Bryce Muir

It seems so obvious that basing decisions about college majors and careers on one’s personality would save the individual in question much angst, time, energy, tuition and frustration. And yet college students tend to choose their major according to whatever career path they pulled out of their asses while sitting (a) at the dinner table, their parents demanding some answers about their teen’s future; or (b) in the high school counselor’s office, wading through college admissions paperwork.

Neither of those scenarios is ideal for making sound life choices. I’m a firm believer in the philosophy that the major a college student chooses is of much less import than people seem to freak themselves out with by believing. Quite a few college students make themselves miserable spending four years and thousands of dollars earning a degree that isn’t the best fit.

College is hard enough, even when one is eyebrow-deep in courses they love. There’s just no reason to pursue a major (and certainly not the matching career) that makes you contemplate chucking it all and escaping to an island with nothing but mangoes and naked time.

To assist in the decision-making processes of weighty life choices that will no doubt affect the path your life takes, here are a smattering of the multitude of books available for perusal:

10 Best College Majors For Your Personality

50 Best Jobs For Your Personality

The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need

How’d You Score THAT Gig?

Career Match: Connecting Who You Are with What You’ll Love to Do

The College Board Book of Majors

The Princeton Review’s Guide to College Majors

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Author’s note: this is a refurbished older post. It’s still relevant and I’m on vacation.

For anyone who has just graduated, this advice may come too late. But if you’re still in the throes of your higher education, Lifehacker.com has a solid, reader-written list of everything they wished they’d been told before they left college for the real world. It’s a pretty long list, but contains useful tidbits nonetheless. Looking down from my worldly and wise vantage point (total crap—I’m 34 but most days I feel more like I’m 12) I can also see that a lot of the words of wisdom are correct. The picture of post-college reality I had when I was 18 turned out to be severely false.

While I was reading through Lifehacker’s article, I was wishing someone had let me in on all of this need-to-know information. I was irate for 0.7 seconds, and then I remembered the teenaged me and couldn’t imagine that charming young lady sitting still long enough or opening her ears wide enough to ever actually hear some adult’s sage advice. So for all I know, I was appropriately advised with regards to college, life, and reality and I just don’t remember.

It’s worth your time not to make the same mistake. Also, reading advice online is way less annoying than having to sit and listen to some pedantic uncle carry on about his glory days and why YOU should help him to re-live them by following in his footsteps. Or, conversely, Uncle Whatsit hates his life and whippersnapper you should follow his advice to the letter so YOUR life will be fabulous and he can finally achieve his smashing success vicariously through you.

Don’t be anyone’s puppet. Live your own life, make your own decisions and all that. But sometimes older people do have smart stuff to say (usually because they’ve screwed up hugely and have since learned from their mistakes). You can read the Lifehacker thing, pay attention to the choice bits and skip anything smacking of pedantic uncle.

A few choice bits:

“No one cares about what grades you got.”

“Learn that there are things that are very valuable and are not taught in school.”

“If you’re not ready for higher education, then travel.”

“Your major doesn’t necessarily determine your future career path.”

“Don’t get caught up in what other people want you to do.”

“Everything you just learned means nothing in the real world.”

“No matter how prepared you are for Real Life, you’re not. It’s hard, stressful, and sometimes cruel. When your parents said, ‘College was the best time of their lives’, they weren’t kidding.”

“Use your vacation…don’t be that guy.”

“Get to know something abut each of your co-workers. Even, or especially, the quiet or odd ones.”

“Never stop learning and studying.”

“Don’t be afraid to look stupid…..I’ve met plenty of people I didn’t like, but I have yet to meet anyone who didn’t have SOMETHING they could teach me about.”

“Get out there and do things. College gives you plenty of easy opportunities…”

“Real life isn’t like high school, but some workplaces are.”

“The most important skills to remember from college include how to write clearly, how to think critically, and how to get along with people who are not like you.”

“Don’t be afraid of anything.”

“It’s just a job.”

“People you went to high school with won’t matter in 2-3 years. Quit worrying about them.”

“Floss. Exercise. Like, a lot.”

“Build your own life, don’t leech off of someone else.”

“Just because you have a degree doesn’t mean you know everything.”

“Don’t get a credit card from those companies that come to campus and offer a free t-shirt if you apply. They aren’t really your friends and don’t give two craps about you.”

“Be completely honest with yourself and others, even if it means taking a risk. Tactful bluntness will carry you much further in life than telling people what they want to hear.”

“Time and time again—financial literacy.”

Posted by Alexa Harrington

According to the Wall Street Journal, recent college grads are giving up on trying to find a decent job in the currently crappy job market, and are opting instead to spend a year or two working and/or volunteering for one of the following world-improvement organizations:

Peace Corps
AmeriCorps
Teach for America
Jesuit Volunteers
WorldTeach

The applicant and enlistment numbers for these organizations have been increasing over the past few years. The Peace Corps numbers for 2007 were the highest they’d been since the 1970s, and Teach for America has had a 36% increase since last year.

The job market does kind of blow at the moment, but I think a large part of what drives the twenty-somethings to do what they can to change the world for the better is that they are a pretty aware generation as far as the plight of their fellow man goes. As good as this stuff looks on a résumé, I find it hard to believe that huge increase in low- or no-pay enlistment is due to a bunch of shiny newly-grads wanting to add some stellar bullet points. I think they might just be nice. In which case, I’m very impressed.

Further Reading:

Why Teach for America
College Grads Are Not Just Chasing the Almighty Dollar
Obama: Can We Get a Little Service Here?
2 School Entrepreneurs Lead the Way on Change

Posted by Alexa Harrington

This exquisitely informative article in the NY Times will help to lessen the shocking dose of reality that might otherwise paralyze the newly graduated twenty-somethings who’ve recently been unleashed on the job market. It sucks to have finally figured out the bureaucratic red tape that is student loans and financial aid, and now you’ve got a whole new mess of paperwork and money-related crap to wade through and comprehend.

The article explains quickly and simply what a newly-minted adult needs to know about retirement, health plans and taxes. These are good things to know about (and to avoid screwing up) sooner rather than later.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

I love school; everyone who knows me can tell you how pissed I am that being a professional student isn’t a marketable skill. I stretched out my college career for as long as possible, and only stopped when I looked around and saw what my perfectionist tendencies and my exemplary GPA were doing to my family (it turns out it’s not possible, for me, anyway, to be a straight-A student and a good mother and wife).

As much as I adore school and wish it to be the answer to all professional and career-related bumps, quandaries and questions, I must say that I agree with Penelope Trunk’s post: Seven Reasons Why Graduate School Is Outdated. I do think that getting a graduate degree is necessary for some individuals and for the pursuit of some professions. But I also understand that the professional world is changing, the cost of higher education is rising, and it’s not a small thing to spend tens of thousands of dollars to get a degree you may not necessarily need or ever really use.

People don’t stay in the same career for fifty years like our grandparents did. There’s a lot of motion in the workplace and along the career path. Everything looks to be in a pretty constant state of flux, and the people who seem to be adapting the best are the ones who are capable of learning as they go and switching lanes mid-stride.

Getting a huge dose of education at the beginning of the journey and then staying the course throughout the length of one’s career trajectory is fine if you actually stay in that particular field of interest and skill. But what if the subject matter that most interests you when you’re 22 isn’t what you want to continue working in when you’re 35?

I don’t think graduate school is outdated in all areas; I’d say it’s fairly necessary in several fields. I do agree with Trunk’s point that one should not use graduate school as a way to discover what one wants to be when one grows up, and one should perhaps rethink the idea of getting an incredibly expensive degree in an area one sort of thinks maybe they might want to earn a living at some day.

I’m not telling people to decrease their educational goals and aspirations, and I’m not trying to put undue amounts of pressure on anyone currently trying to decide what they want to be when they grow up. I’m just pointing out that Ms. Penelope Trunk made some excellent points regarding the possibly outdated graduate degree. I was in such disbelief that I actually agreed with what she was saying (being super pro-education) that I felt it was necessary to bring attention to her line of reasoning.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

For any recent college graduates who might be heading off to their first year of teaching, this post on Ephblog lays out with severe honesty what a first-year teacher might expect. I’m not a teacher, but I’ve learned from scores of them, and I found it interesting to read about what it’s like for a new teacher to jump into the breach for the first time. The post is the first in a summer-long series about teaching through the eyes of Williams College graduates and should be worth checking out.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Education doesn’t stop, even after you’ve finished that last final exam and have turned in that last paper. Fruit flies have an average life span of only 37 days, their brains are minuscule, and they still have to endure learning experiences every damn day. So, comparatively speaking, humans have thousands more learning opportunities in our lifetimes.

Not news you want to hear right after graduation, I realize. Please don’t kill the messenger. I recall hollering with glee, ”I’m never reading anything but fiction again!” after what I thought would be my last final for a while. And then I went back to school because I just couldn’t get enough.

To help you with the learning part of life, and to hopefully avoid the painful mistakes, I have an awesomely simplified resource for post-college adult responsibility that will help you to understand the grown-up world of money, even if you’re in your twenties and are pretty sure you don’t need to know about something you don’t have yet.

Most college graduates are pretty new to the concept of money coming in, even if it’s at a trickle. Ramit Sethi’s site, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, has a huge number of articles, resources and advice on how to deal with the having (or not, as the case may be) of money. Sethi explains the hell out of retirement planning; a two-year-old could understand it (and find it necessary). He’s also got great information on simple stuff college students can use, like how to use a separate debit card for an enveloping system, or more complicated topics like personal entrepreneurship or investing.

Go learn something and try not to screw up your finances at a young age.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

This may have been particular only to my high school career, but from what I’ve seen, I think most kids leave high school with the feeling that they are destined to be amazing and have only to be unleashed on the world and this innate stupendousness will become apparent.

I grew up in a small, one-high-school town where the weekly paper was all of twelve pages and four of those were devoted to the kids in the community. Suffice it to say, it was almost impossible to be a nobody and most of us graduated feeling like awesomely special big fish in a small, safe pond where all adults thought we were wonderful.

You can imagine the shock we felt upon entering college and discovering an ocean of bigger and much more special fish. Leaving our small town and going to college was somewhat hard on our fragile egos, but graduating from college and moving into the real world was crushing, to say the least.

We had erroneously believed that high school was going to be the hardest four years of our lives; the real world, we were dismayed to discover, is harder. My ten-year high school reunion was a roomful of twenty-somethings who were bummed about admitting to everyone that they had not, as it turned out, blossomed into the superheroes we had all assumed was our due. I realize (now, as a far wiser thirty-something) that it would have been impossible for reality to live up to our skewed, hormone-fueled ideal future.

The party picked up once we all took a good look around and realized that not a single one of us was anything more than just plain old normal. Just getting through the week in the real world without caving in is heroic enough. I was a little sad for myself and for the now-adults I’d spent thirteen years of my childhood with—we’d all expected so much more from ourselves and from the world. We were all happy and healthy and were making our ways through the world just fine. But none of us were famous and the learning of crap was still occurring. Reality is one long, drawn-out learning process. It’s so disappointing! When does the learning stop?!

And there you have it: life is hard and is one sucky life-lesson after another. On the upside, almost everyone else on the planet is living some version of The Learning Life that you are. There’s an article in BusinessWeek about recent college grad Max Leiber who takes a temp job and learns about the harsh realities of outsourcing: How I Helped Move a Factory to Mexico. Every job, temporary, super, or otherwise, is a new learning opportunity and it’s interesting to read about Leiber’s experience.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Catch-22 is safely ensconced in my top ten books list; it’s been there since I read it over a decade ago and I can’t imagine that it will ever be demoted. It’s such a perfect, perfect description of being caught in some bureaucratic, red-tape moment wherein the powers that be are unmoved by your pointing out of the obvious, utterly effed-up impossibility of your situation. You’re screwed because you’ve managed to find a special little corner of Rule Hell in which the guidelines contradict themselves and now there can be no forward or backward motion that might enable your extrication from the situation.

The job-hunting process can definitely be heavy on the Catch-22 nuances. This is especially true for the newly graduated. Your brain is packed full of (mostly) worthwhile information, but you lack any real job experience. Employers would prefer not to hire someone who has ridiculous amounts of knowledge but few real-world job skills. This realization usually makes the young job applicant scream (on the inside) something along the lines of How can I get any job experience if I can’t get an effing job, you freaks!

And there it is: you can’t get a job without experience and you can’t get experience without a job. Right out of college, you pretty much have a diploma and some summer job experience to bullet-point on your résumé.

And that is why god created the internship: the unpaid, coffee-fetching rite of passage that won’t make you much money but will teach you how to do the job you want so badly that you’re willing to work for free to learn how to do it. Internships are also invaluable networking venues; connecting with pertinent individuals in your field will be beneficial to future job searches and career moments.

Searching for internship opportunities is pretty similar to the job search process: search for “internships” on any job search site and a list of possibilities will magically appear. Alternatively, you can apply for an actual job, and note on your résumé that you’d like to be considered for the little- to no-pay internship version of the available position. What fool employer would turn down someone who’s willing to work for free? (This may not work in the law, medical or air traffic control fields).

If you’re still in college and are financially fortunate (or are really good at being poor) you can use the summer to do an internship. It’ll give you an extra bullet point on the résumé and will give you a better idea of what a job in your chosen field entails and whether you actually want to continue pursuing this career. Colleges and universities always have some informed person (librarian, career advisor, department secretary, etc.) who can hook students up with internship links, info, ideas and lists.

Further reading:

Internships a ‘win-win’ to help get job

Resources:

The Benefits of Volunteer Work
Top Eight Tips for Finding an Internship
How to Become a Volunteer to Gain Work Experience
Idealist.org

Posted by Alexa Harrington