Hilarious bit about what happens when students are made to memorize great poetical works and can recite them at will for life, even when drunk and wandering the streets in the dead of night. This post from Fielding at The Guardian makes me regret not keeping up the curious habit of learning poems by heart so one can pull them out at odd times throughout one’s life. My fifth-grade teacher made her students memorize a poem of their choice every week, and then recite the poem on Friday. I loathed every single Friday from September through June in 1985. The vomit wants to come back whenever I see a Shel Silverstein book.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Students have moaned and complained for decades about cafeteria fare. Shockingly, when Mrs. Obama and the Los Angeles School District massively revamped public school lunches in an effort to decrease obesity in America, the high school teens refused to eat black bean burgers and quinoa and demanded their nachos and strawberry milk back.

It turns out that healthy lunches are all well and good for small-scale sample tastings, but when massively produced for a large high school audience on a daily basis, the ew factor is upped considerably.

Whatever. Teenagers start the day angry. Trying to please them only makes them understand that you are their bitch. Also, they will immediately begin subversive activities, like bringing in Cheetos and Pepsi from the outside to ingest and to sell at a profit to their slower-on-the-uptake peers.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

What has risen 400% in 25 years? Not housing prices in San Francisco, but that’s an excellent guess. Nope, it’s college tuition. That one-liner factoid takes me out at the knees and makes me want to hurl.

Phenomenal amounts of money are spent, borrowed, and paid back over lifetimes for higher education. At some point, one hopes, the college students will become educated enough to figure out when the price of education is just too damned much.

Since that hasn’t happened yet, two professors were interviewed on NPR recently so they could explain WHY college costs so much. It turns out that any and all tuition payers (students, parents) are at the sticky bottom of any given school’s list of people to impress or keep happy. The violent rage I’m feeling makes me warm inside.

Economist Richard Vedder of Ohio University and Stephen Trachtenberg of George Washington University tell NPR host Neal Conan what in the hell is going on with college costs.

You can read listen to the story (30 min.) or you can read the transcript in its entirety here.

Excerpt from the transcript:

CONAN: I wanted to ask, you wrote an op-ed for CNN.com, “Why Does College Cost So Much,” you argued essentially that colleges have absolutely no incentive to reduce costs.

VEDDER: That’s right. Now, there are a few exceptions to that. The for-profit higher education sector is certainly a clear exception, but by and large, most colleges do not get rewards. The presidents of the universities, the senior officials, the key faculty do not get rewarded by being efficient, by teaching more students for the same amount of money or whatever, by using buildings efficiently, six, seven days a week, et cetera. There’s no incentive in that for them.
So there’s no great compulsion to reduce costs, and yet spending more money often has rewards. It can help improve your rankings in the magazine rankings that go on by magazines like US News or Forbes. And it is actually beneficial to colleges, or at least it’s perceived to be beneficial to colleges, to spend more money: nicer facilities for students so you attract more students, better students, whatever, lower teaching loads for faculty so that they’re happy and content and not likely to cause a lot of problems.
So the job of a university president is to raise a lot of money, tons of money, and distribute it, and not too much attention is placed on lowering the cost to the consumer.

CONAN: In fact you argue that the consumer, the student and then the student’s parents, but they come last in a list that includes, you mentioned the faculty, key faculty members are bribed with lower teaching loads. You mentioned alumni, who are in a sense are bribed to make donations to the school through successful sports programs and other things like that, and trustees.

VEDDER: Yes, I think that’s right. Remember, colleges and universities don’t have the profit motive that compels people in the traditional private sector to cut costs, be efficient, try to get more bang for the buck, as it were. So that is sort of lacking. It’s a nonprofit sector, and there’s a lot of third-party payments, that is government money and also private, philanthropic money, that comes into universities that reduces the need to depend utterly, solely on the consumer to foot the bills, to pay the freight, as it were.

Related Posts:

How To Avoid Graduating College Summa Cum Debt
Watching America’s Higher Education Creams Go Down In Flames
College Tuition: Save Or Borrow?
Ways To Kick The Ass Of Student Loan Debt
International Students Bring $18.8 Billion To U.S. Economy
I Live In A Van Down By Duke University
College Or Gambling?
The Cost of College and the Three-Year Degree Option
Streamlined and Fuel-Efficient Three-Year Degrees
Economy Makes Being an RA Seem Like a Good Idea
Increased Tuition Increases Some More

Posted by Alexa Harrington

(image: new Stanford University library)

Let’s all watch me try to navigate this post. It’s about sex and Trojans and Mormons and how well 141 universities assist their undergrads in traversing the seas of collegiate sex. The odds of me crashing and burning into a twisted pile of political incorrectness and offending everyone on my way down are as excellent as a bloated road-kill raccoon is to finally pop in July–one hard wave of heat moving up from the asphalt and nothing will smell good ever again.

I usually have no qualms about the possibility of offending the sensibilities of other humans, but today it seems as if I should run.

First off, I’m not Mormon. But I do have Mormons in my family. I love them and they love me and there are no issues between myself and the Mormon contingent of my family tree. Aside from the fact that I always forget who I’m with and continue to cuss like a drunken sailor whenever I visit them and I never ever go to church while they continue to pray for my unquestionably hell-bound soul and respect my request to not be recruited, we’re all good.

The Trojan condom company (possibly more famous than the Mormons) puts out an annual survey ranking the sexual health of undergraduate colleges and universities. Rankings are based on sexual health resources and support available to students on campus, from pamphlets to condoms to someone to talk to.

Out of 141 schools ranked in 2011, Brigham Young University came in 140th. This either means BYU is a cesspool of STD-sharing Mormon youth, or those Mormon kids are living cleaner than the rest of us and are abstaining, thereby severely reducing the need for condoms, counselors, and antibiotics at the student health center.

I’m sticking with the abstinence and not-a-cesspool theory. While not on board with the Mormons and their beliefs, I have to say they’re super serious about innocent perfection and clean living. No alcohol, no smoking, no premarital sex. They don’t even allow caffeine, for crying out loud (it’s near the top of my Why I’m Not a Mormon list).

Further Reading:

Columbia University Tops the Trojan® Sexual Health Report Card Rankings for the Second Year in a Row

Posted by Alexa Harrington

For the first few years of my college career, I was a cocky little sucker who was convinced that tutors were for the less-evolved, slower-thinking students on campus. Since I was “gifted” and had always been told that I was in possession of above average intelligence, I would of course be able to learn all college coursework instantly, perfectly, and with no assistance.

I know, what a dumb b**ch.

Because I’ve grown as a person, the irony of this is not lost on me: the “average” and “below average” kids showed higher levels of intelligence, common sense and basic survival skills than I had when they all joined study groups and headed to the tutoring center the first week of school.

It took me a few years, but I finally figured out that (a) I was going to actually have to work to learn all the material (sadly, no instantaneous absorption qualities do I possess), and (b) trying to get through college with no assistance just makes you look like a jackass. A jackass with a really expensive, crappy GPA.

The first trip to the tutoring center or to the prof’s office hours were the hardest. Once I got over the hump, I lived there. Later on, during Degree #2 I was technically in school full-time, but I was creatively spreading my classes out to mostly evening and online courses so I could be home with my infant daughter (only people who can hire drivers and butlers can afford childcare and tuition simultaneously). Which meant I was usually studying at home, halfway across Seattle, not on campus in the library where I could search out a classmate and ask a question about the homework.

I hated so much that feeling of being totally lost or confused by a physics or chem or calculus problem that I lost any self-consciousness associated with walking into the tutoring center, raising my hand before I even sat down, and asking for help. At some point, when my daughter was old enough to start preschool and I was on campus during the day like a real college student, I had the math tutoring center hours memorized and would just sit in there doing lab write-ups and math homework, raising my hand whenever I encountered a road block.

So the tutors saved my ass (once I managed to yank my own head out of it) and helped me figure out monumental, James Joyce-ian math and physics problems without ever giving me the answers or spoon-feeding me. I needed to understand how to do the problem, I didn’t want the answer. A tutor worth his or her salt never does the work for you. And if you find one who does, pray they’re tiny enough to fit inside your backpack so’s you can bring them along for exams.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Technology and education coming together to make college students smarter, faster, better! I’m so excited I can barely keep my pants on!

CourseSmart announced today that they’ve launched some sweet techno wonderfulness for reading eTextbooks on mobile devices. It means carrying fewer of those spine-telescoping textbooks and saving reams of tree parts.

SAN MATEO, Calif., November 21, 2011 — CourseSmart®, the world’s largest provider of eTextbooks and digital course materials, today announced the launch of their new, industry first, mobile Web app that provides students and faculty access to a catalog of more than 20,000 eTextbooks andother digital course materials on a variety of mobile devices including the Kindle Fire and the iPad®. This breakthrough brings thousands of digital course materials to the most popular mobile reading devices furthering the company’s mission of anytime, anywhere access to course materials in higher education.

“Our mission is to connect students and faculty with affordable course materials that they need to become successful. With this new Web-based application, we are putting the world’s largest catalog of eTextbooks and digital course materials in the hands of an increasingly growing number of digitally-dependent students and faculty,” said Sean Devine, CEO at CourseSmart. “As mobile devices like the Kindle Fire and iPad continue to make their way onto college campuses and into the classroom, we are excited to offer yet another option for our users to not only access their digital textbooks but to improve their reading experiences with features such as page fidelity.”

The mobile Web app is optimized to best support multi-touch screens of today’s most popular mobile devices and it is designed to offer users the:

&bullConvenience to view all eTextbooks from a single location,
&bullAbility to search for a topic within your eTextbook including access to the Table of Contents,
&bullCapability to zoom in on text and graphs as well as to add and view notes, and
&bullSame page fidelity experience as found in a print textbook version equivalent.

There is no downloading process to access the free Web app. On supported browsers, CourseSmart users with an active eTextbook account will automatically be prompted to sign into the Web app when they begin reading their eTextbooks. Any future enhancements for the app are automatically updated, eliminating the need to visit an app store to obtain the latest app version.

The app is supported by Amazon Silk, Safari and Google Chrome browsers on the following devices: Kindle Fire, iPad and Androidâ„¢ 3.0 and higher OS tablets.

Further Reading:

CourseSmart Research Reveals College Students Lerve Their Digital Devices
College Students, eTextbooks, and Tablet Devices
Buying Textbooks: New, Used, Rented, or Digital
CourseSmart’s eTextbook App for the iPhone

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Tomorrow is the Nov. 5th SAT, which I can guarantee is freaking the crap right out of teenagers across the nation. Poor bastards. When I took the Rite of Passage for American High School Students (standardized tests written by pain-in-the-ass adults whose heads are shoved so far up their exit ramps that they can no longer navigate reality), I must say I had a rather cavalier attitude about the whole thing. Almost twelve years of public school had made me quite the badass standardized test taker; I was unconcerned.

Most students don’t have that attitude. To them I advise chilling the eff out, this is not the end of the world. I promise. Shite of a much higher magnitude will befall you in the course of your lifetime, I can guarantee it. So quit your whining and suck it up, kiddos. You walk right in there with your #2 pencils and kick some standardized ass! Or don’t, and head for your 5th choice school. No biggie.

Need some advice on SATs and ACTs and how they may affect your future matriculation plans? Allen Grove is a font of information about college admissions. Here are four of his bits of wisdom:

Low SAT or ACT Scores? These Colleges Don’t Require the Tests
What ACT Scores Do You Need to Get Into College?
Are My SAT Scores Good Enough?
Low ACT Scores? What Now?

Further Reading (my cranky attitude toward standardized tests in general):

Secret SAT Scores
Colbert’s Wickedly True Take on the SATs
Testing Season Begins
An Excellent Argument for Abolishing the SAT
The Newly Unfabulous SAT
Awesome Parent
The SAT Is Not Good
College Admissions Testing: For and Against
January 23rd SAT Results
Calculating Potential
Kaplan SAT Prep Tools on Facebook

Posted by Alexa Harrington

(image: panic)

Further Reading:

Literacy: We’ve Still Got It
Another New and Exciting Way To Be Driven Over the Edge By Technology
New Essay Writing Apps for the iPhone and iPod Touch
Is Technology Just A Tool?
CourseSmart Research Reveals College Students Lerve Their Digital Devices
Michael Wesch: TED Talk On Media and Teaching Students to Become Knowledge-Able

Posted by Alexa Harrington

Along the lines of my previous post regarding the much abhorred Epic Fail, Emily Chapman at Hack College wrote a piece advising one to Refuse to Dwell, Move On, Kick Ass. Well put.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

(photo: kick-ass)

Who needs more straight-up and simple financial advice than college students? Possibly only the city of Detroit. The always-awesome Ramit Sethi has yet to fix Detroit, but he has you covered.

Ramit’s suggestions for the three most basic, personal banking needs:

The Best Checking Account
The Best Savings Account
The Best Credit Card

Further Reading:

Financial Education
Financial Literacy for Graduates
“Unbundling College: How to Avoid Spending $100,000 (or more) on a Credential You Don’t Really Need”
How to Land a Mentor
Schools of Entrepreneurship

Posted by Alexa Harrington

(photo: credit card wreath)